The Trouble with Augie

I’ve been reading The Adventures of Augie March (1953, Saul Bellow) and finding it hard going. I lose focus as the book does and whilst I’m keen to find out what happens I have to suffer and suffer again as the hapless character is dealt and deals his way through Depression-hit America. It’s compelling but it’s harrowing.

It is then in great contrast to two of Bellow’s later novels. I read Herzog and then Humboldt’s Gift and found them both sparkling. They are alive and manic and energetic as much sinister and dark and helpless. With Augie I can see the bones of these books appearing at times – but they are only bit-part characters in relation to his sumptuous and complete latter day heroes.

Bellow was a genius and one who worked hard at it. Discovering his books is seldom a let-down.

No Compromise

It’s that time of the year when I pull out the novel and dust it off to have a look at it. Nothing changes – only the season through which I view it and it’s limitations. There are times when I’m in love with the novel and writing in general and other times when it appears to be a complete waste of time. This realisation along with the general ennui that usually trundles in half way through a period of creativity is why I am surrounded by half finished works of disputable genius.

Next thought is that I should abandon the novel and make it an autobiography. Would be easier to write it for sure. Still not convinced I’d finish it though. Is it betters to try and fail or never try at all? And is half finished failure or just experimentation on the path to success?

It’s healthy to try, to experiment and to dream. Perhaps to get too hung up on completing things is just our parents talking. Pressure off. Enjoy it for what it is – the process of doing things you enjoy.

I did get a frisson of that feeling last night. I am thinking more deeply about things and code and designs. I can see the projection of my dream and will not compromise on the idea. That in itself brings a pleasurable feeling that no matter how long it takes – even if it never happens – for this activity or period of my life there will be no compromise.

Half a Person

Looking for Sun Kil Moon tab today and came across this version of Alesund by Half a Person. Not the first time I’ve stumbled across this channel on YouTube. Needless to say I would never have worked out the open tuning let alone the fingering.

This Country Is Made From Lego

Amsterdam Marathon 2011

This year’s event was a lesson in what not to do when you’re preparing to run. Firstly don’t pull a muscle in your back the day before your event. For me, that’s pretty much it.

Things were fine until about 32km. I’d stretched out the pesky muscle carefully and taken it very easy all the way around. Get to 30-35km I said to myself, easy does it, and then see what’s left in the tank.

I should have realised earlier in the day it was a bad idea to even try to compete. I couldn’t get my socks on very easily, bending down to tie my laces wasn’t simple either.

At 8km I felt something rubbing on my toe. Inspection proved it to be a poorly installed sock. Again putting on my shoe was a struggle. Oh well, ignore it and hope for the best and importantly – take it easy.

Well, at 32km I heard an encouraging voice from the sidelines:

“Tempo! Tempo!”

He’s right, I thought. Time to step it up.

500m later my back starts really hurting. I have to walk. 3km later I stop for some cool gel at a medical point but as I leave I realise I can’t walk at all. Hip is locked up. I stare at the road and the runners going by before limping back to the medics for help.

An amazing back massage later I’m back on my feet. Wrapped on a space blanket i walk gingerly the last seven kms. Seeing wife and kids before the finish I plucked up courage to sprint into the stadium.

Every marathon has its own story. This one, like the last one, was about completion rather than competition. I wonder as I nurse my sore back if I’ll make that mistake again. It’s good to know your limits.